After we ran out of things to lose or leave behind, we started breaking other people’s things. We have broken at least one thing in every single apartment we’ve stayed at since leaving North America. Usually it’s a glass, sometimes a decorative item, and each of us is guilty, including the baby.
Sage wins for the most destructive incident. He grabbed a glass off a table as I was picking him up and flung it with serious baby g-force to the floor. Hundreds of shards. Very impressive. Jasper wins for most difficult to explain in Spanish. He tried to make his stuffed cat eat a framed picture of gazpacho and cracked the glass. The best one yet though was when James fell off the bathroom stool and broke a mug he had been washing. Then I immediately broke a glass I knocked over in my rush to see if he was lying in a pool of blood and ceramic. (He was not. Could have fooled me.)
JD said he wants to have a family meeting about all the breaking. I said that none of us means to and he said that a drunk driver usually doesn’t mean to kill anyone. So the real question is, how do we all stop being so drunk? I don’t think children sober up until their teen years and that’s when they start drinking for real and then you can just arrest them. I, however, have no hope. I’m already not allowed to touch anything expensive. (Obviously, I was born to be waited upon. )
The curse of broken things not only follows us wherever we go but transfers itself to people we are with. We had friends over for dinner at an apartment where we had not yet broken anything but one of the friends snapped a wine glass in half. Then tonight we had dinner with a different set of friends and they also broke a glass.
We should probably go back to losing things.
We took a break from Seville this past week to explore the Costa de la Luz. We booked an apartment with ocean views and free range horses/donkeys/cows/pigs/chickens who greeted us at (and in) our car when we arrived Sunday evening.
The horses and donkey were pretty keen on getting some snacks out of us and tried eating the children when we failed to meet their snack expectations. So when our host arrived to let us in, Jasper was locked in the car, James was on top of the car, Sage was on top of JD’s head and I was standing on a giant rock with six disappointed horses and a donkey looking on.
The apartment itself was great but because we arrived after dark, we didn’t notice until the morning that there was dog hair everywhere including the beds, there was human hair in the beds that did not belong to us, none of the bedding had been changed and the microwave and fridge had old chunks of food inside of them. The icing was the bed bugs that ate Jasper’s face in the night.
This sounds like a bummer but it actually ended up being the best. We booked through Airbnb which has insurance policies for situations such as ours. The night at the house of filth was refunded and our reservation was transferred to a place that was a bajillion times better.
There were horses at this one too except they were behind a fence which is how we like our horses now.
"I’m three, actually. I’m going to be a man soon."
Jasper, the boy whose favourite thing is whatever thing happens to be in front of him.
The boy who is not shy to admit he just needs a snack.
The boy who will be your friend in exchange for a kind word (or a snack)
The boy whose laughter is a bath of warmth and light and whose rage is a dark punch in the face.
The boy who cried when his uncle’s rabbit died but regularly pretends to slaughter woodland creatures (for the procurement of food, naturally).
The boy who has a secret knowledge of the universe which he sometimes shares: Mum, if you just swallow some bees, you can fly.
We took Jasper on a horse carriage ride for his birthday because every time he saw one this past week, he asked us if it was expensive. When we’d say yes, he’d say “oh” in a sad little voice which of course broke our hearts and made us want to buy him all the horses and carriages. Clever boy.
We also fulfilled his other birthday dreams of balloons and a chocolate cake with strawberry icing.
Jasper, you will never be unloved in this life. You’re a delight to everyone you meet and we are so blessed to have you on this journey. Cumpleaños feliz, mi amor!